20 Feb 2004

How are you?

O, you know, knee deep in something or other.

And how is the wife?

What wife? I think she’s dead.

Glad to hear it. And the kids?

Buried.

How wonderful. Do come in.

I’ll sit down shall I?

Actually, no. I’d much prefer it if you didn’t.

Right ho - umbrella stand it is then.

You’re obesely overweight. You do understand?

Of course. My weight is legendary. Stuff of myths.

So I hear. You are entirely large. Port?

No, I flew in. How about a drink then?

Alright. Sherry?

Sherry is fine.

No. Sherry is my maid. Sherry, the port please.

I liked your piece in the Times by the way.

Slightly below the belt I’d like to think.

I should say. I was pelted with jam when I left the House on Monday. Truly you are a miscreant.

An utter bastard but then again….

….I’m worse. O, entirely. But I never actively attempt to publicise the fact.

Of course not. You don’t have to.

Yes. You do it very well for me.

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