3 Aug 2005
To Whom It May Concern,
I am writing concerning your Toilet Roll Product with Aloe Vera – core number: 04 21 066 5 0945. I purchased a four pack of this product full of expectation for a thoroughly excellent Deposit Accessory. However, to my dawning dismay, upon utilising said product in the time honoured fashion I found it constantly fell apart in my fingers. I will not elucidate any further but you can imagine the angst this left me in and the trouble I had on my hands. It appears that the seams between sheets are too weak and fall apart with the most meagre application of force during a wipe. Even quadrupling the ply by a complicated system of folding, the sheets still failed to hold together adequately so to allow me to satisfactorily finish my absolutions.
I write for your information. I can only hope that this pack was an exception to your otherwise excellent record in my experience. I have one and a half roles left and I am loathe to throw them away. Instead I shall simply grin and bear it. Rest assured I am not a particularly satisfied customer.
Far Right Wing
And Kin, it is quite clear that the only hope for the future of your begotted country is if your entire political system collapses, that fucking retard W falls into a wood-chipper and the people create an oligarchy with a "V" like character running it all behind the scenes. Embrace anarchy you little tart. And keep the fuck out of here!