Skip to main content
03.08.05

To Whom It May Concern,


I am writing concerning your Toilet Roll Product with Aloe Vera – core number: 04 21 066 5 0945. I purchased a four pack of this product full of expectation for a thoroughly excellent Deposit Accessory. However, to my dawning dismay, upon utilising said product in the time honoured fashion I found it constantly fell apart in my fingers. I will not elucidate any further but you can imagine the angst this left me in and the trouble I had on my hands. It appears that the seams between sheets are too weak and fall apart with the most meagre application of force during a wipe. Even quadrupling the ply by a complicated system of folding, the sheets still failed to hold together adequately so to allow me to satisfactorily finish my absolutions.

I write for your information. I can only hope that this pack was an exception to your otherwise excellent record in my experience. I have one and a half roles left and I am loathe to throw them away. Instead I shall simply grin and bear it. Rest assured I am not a particularly satisfied customer.



Yours Grimacing


Bruce Campbell.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Swerve Left
Kin said…
Republican Presidential Choice 2008
Far Right Wing
Bruce said…
Say what?

And Kin, it is quite clear that the only hope for the future of your begotted country is if your entire political system collapses, that fucking retard W falls into a wood-chipper and the people create an oligarchy with a "V" like character running it all behind the scenes. Embrace anarchy you little tart. And keep the fuck out of here!

Popular posts from this blog

It’s been an age since I’ve left any detritus on these pages. In the face of mySpace, then Facebook and now Twitter with a background of belated maturity, engagement, house purchase, proper job, this tired old blog has been left to fester. I do miss it though. Perhaps I can provide additions every now and then? But what to write and when? Busy at work, the kitchen is still far from complete, the sun is very much out and, oh yeah, I forgot, I don’t BLOG!!! Ha AH!! Almost got me there. Bloody social networking. Bollocks. That is all. Long Live Hunter S Thompson!!!!
Fucking Wahey! Opened one of my bank statements this morning and saw that I had earned 21 pence interest in the last month from my sizeable investment. Slowly realised, being that it was early in the day, that my sizeable investment was entirely comprised of overdraft and so looked again. 21 flipping pence earned from Goodle Ad-sense - in my first month! I was mildly elated. I thought the first thing to do was to conatct the bank and demand an enlarged overdraft limit - what with my new source of income! Refrained. So - the four people who read this dribble - at least two of you or one of you twice or something (not sure of the maths; gift horse, mouth, spatula) must have clicked on one of the above adverts. Thank you. The other twenty clicks were mine. I know I agreed not to click on the adverts on this page but they were just so damnably enticing to me.

So - thinking earnestly of selling out and creating a blog or website that will actually have some regular and considerable traffic …
Found this little effort lurking about the hardrive trying to convert the more fanatical .pdfs and .jpegs to extreme secularism - with much success may I add. Good lad. Had a call at work last year from a mate who was late with a philosophy essay for his eighth attempt at making it all the way through a year at college. Asked me if I could knock something up for him proper-quick-sharp. Which I did.


Has Religion served its Purpose?






Taking religion to mean a commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance I intend to suggest that religion has lost its relevance to Homo Sapiens as a result of the emerging reliance upon Science. To define what purpose religion may be said to have, or have had, I intend to explain what beneficial effects are attributable to such a belief system. Therefore religion will be approached as a whole and only infrequently on an individual basis. Of course it is necessary to mention that science can be classified as a religion as well – a scientist takes it …