Skip to main content
A moment spent on idle introspection:

Dear Body and Soul,

Yes, well, I have been incredibly slack in the old Fitness and Health department. And for this I humbly beg your forgiveness. You may not have heard but it was my misfortune, two weeks ago, to lose both my hands in a freak surfing accident. They were lopped off by the propeller of a passing schooner and I was only able to find one of them, as I was busy fending off the sharks keen on the scent of my blood, with my bleeding stumps. Later, the hand came alive and attempted to flood Bude and rape a tractor so I destroyed it. That’s right, who’s laughing now.

Excuses pushed rather rapidly to one side, how the devil are you? Well, I know that you are not awfully well. I can tell by the burgeoning size of your lovehandles and your poor performance on the basketball court on Saturday. An aerobic survival period of six and a half minutes is not adequate. You are also in a very strange mood. You have drunk too much over the last few days and your gut seems to be expressing its displeasure by rumbling and aching slightly. At least, I hope it is down to the alcohol as I cooked a meal on Saturday for friends and while they are all alive and prospering, you are in mild moments of agony. Maybe it’s because I had to cook vegetarian as they are all veggie-ish eaters, and your meat eating stomach hasn’t been able to handle the vitamin overdose. Who knows? Who cares? I do a little bit.

So, been for many swims now. I almost drowned during the last one. 20 minutes of swimming out deep to where the surfers where (as the group I was with were all surfers and must have thought I was particularly hard, which, lets face it, is reason enough to experience the panic of near and untimely death) I started heading back in as I could feel my limbs groaning slightly, got caught in a bastard of a rip and had to fight against it for five minutes, going nowhere fast, until I finally beat it and stumbled ashore. I still managed a handstand or three. At one point whilst I was struggling I was considering waving to the surfers for immediate assistance and it was a good thing I didn’t because, apparently, they weren’t looking. Zerren and a mate almost got plastered onto the rocks. It was lush though. Love the sea, me.

Sometimes I feel that my life path needs a major fucking injection of government money to finance the demolition of the present leafy, winding road to build a 47-lane mega freeway. Other times I wouldn’t have it any other way. Tis trouble to be so fickle methinks.

Right, my sandwich is ready. Best busta'move. Drive safely muppet head.

Yours Truly
You x





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It’s been an age since I’ve left any detritus on these pages. In the face of mySpace, then Facebook and now Twitter with a background of belated maturity, engagement, house purchase, proper job, this tired old blog has been left to fester. I do miss it though. Perhaps I can provide additions every now and then? But what to write and when? Busy at work, the kitchen is still far from complete, the sun is very much out and, oh yeah, I forgot, I don’t BLOG!!! Ha AH!! Almost got me there. Bloody social networking. Bollocks. That is all. Long Live Hunter S Thompson!!!!
Fucking Wahey! Opened one of my bank statements this morning and saw that I had earned 21 pence interest in the last month from my sizeable investment. Slowly realised, being that it was early in the day, that my sizeable investment was entirely comprised of overdraft and so looked again. 21 flipping pence earned from Goodle Ad-sense - in my first month! I was mildly elated. I thought the first thing to do was to conatct the bank and demand an enlarged overdraft limit - what with my new source of income! Refrained. So - the four people who read this dribble - at least two of you or one of you twice or something (not sure of the maths; gift horse, mouth, spatula) must have clicked on one of the above adverts. Thank you. The other twenty clicks were mine. I know I agreed not to click on the adverts on this page but they were just so damnably enticing to me.

So - thinking earnestly of selling out and creating a blog or website that will actually have some regular and considerable traffic …
Found this little effort lurking about the hardrive trying to convert the more fanatical .pdfs and .jpegs to extreme secularism - with much success may I add. Good lad. Had a call at work last year from a mate who was late with a philosophy essay for his eighth attempt at making it all the way through a year at college. Asked me if I could knock something up for him proper-quick-sharp. Which I did.


Has Religion served its Purpose?






Taking religion to mean a commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance I intend to suggest that religion has lost its relevance to Homo Sapiens as a result of the emerging reliance upon Science. To define what purpose religion may be said to have, or have had, I intend to explain what beneficial effects are attributable to such a belief system. Therefore religion will be approached as a whole and only infrequently on an individual basis. Of course it is necessary to mention that science can be classified as a religion as well – a scientist takes it …