22 Mar 2004

How to stop Waxing Lyrical and start Talking Dirty:


“Gosh, as I view your perfect form all I can consider is becoming one with you in a perfectly fitting physical union. The light covers you in shadows from whence arise the twin golden globes of your derriere, mounds I am intent on grasping firmly whilst I pleasure you from the aft until you deluge. I mean to run my fingers over your every inch and into every crevice, exploring the wonderland that is your perfect body, mine to behold. My throbbing member is awoken to charge forth within. I am going to plough your furrow with great might indeed. I desire to service your salivating pit of desire with great abandon, causing your breast necks to stand proud, your exclamations become wanton and your cerebellum to reach such mighty heights of excruciating pleasure. Have at you!”

So, let us try changing;

Perfect Form............................................................Sexy Bitch
Becoming one with you...........................................Fuck You
Perfectly Fitting Physical Union ...............................Ragged
Throbbing ...............................................................Hard
Member...................................................................Cock
Awoken...................................................................Hard
Twin Golden Globes of your Derriere.......................Arse
Grasping Firmly.......................................................Squeeze
Pleasure You From the Aft.......................................Fuck You from Behind
Deluge.....................................................................Cum
Plough.....................................................................Fuck
Furrow.....................................................................Cunt
Service....................................................................Shag
Great Abandon........................................................Hard and Deep
Salivating Pit of Desire............................................Cunt
Breast Necks...........................................................Nipples
Exclamations Wanton.............................................Scream your Head Off
Cerebellum to reach such…etc................................Fuck Your Brains Out
Have at You!...........................................................C’mere!

“I’m going to fuck you ragged you sexy bitch. I’m going to fuck you hard from behind and squeeze your sexy arse and make you cum. I’m going to rub your sexy body and grope your cunt and bite your tits. My cock is rock hard and ready to fuck you. I am going to fuck your cunt hard. I want to fuck your cunt hard and deep and make your nipples hard and make you scream your head off as I fuck your brains out. C’mere!”

So, from this experimental foray into the world of Dirty Talk, we can see that repetition is a good thing and it is most certainly a case of content over style. Keep things simple and do not over elaborate. When you are getting Down and Dirty there is no need for Shakespeare. Shakespeare gets you to this point.

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