1 Dec 2008
Anyway, it went a little something like this:
Me: “Good evening guys – I was just wondering if you’d mind me taking a picture of your shop? It’s for a mate who isn’t here who loves your shop a lot.”
F-W.:…..(blank stare with one good and one glassy eye.)…….
Me:”Is that okay? If I take a quick picture?”
Me:”So, I’ll just take a picture with my phone (brandished phone) outside, okay?”
This got a reaction.
F-W.:”No, no, no, no picture. No picture.”
“No? Is it a problem if I take a picture?”
“No picture, no picture.” (starts waving hand in my face.)
Wizened-Whore joins in:”Shhhlovely place this, slovely.”
“Yes, I know. Thank you. (back to F.W.)Why not? What’s the problem?”
“No picture. I have said.”
“Will you please explain why I can’t take a picture of the outside of your wonderful kebab house? Me and my mate love it here. This is a good thing!”
“Loves this place, slovely.”
“No picture. My boss come tomorrow.”
“I’m not here tomorrow. Look, legally you can’t stop me taking a picture of your shop – I was just being polite when I asked.”
“Boss may not like.”
“Why not? It’s great marketing.”
“No picture. I have said. Leave now.”
“Listen mate, you cannot stop me taking a picture of you or your shop. It’s completely legal and you are being rather dim-witted about this.”
At this juncture of the exchange a large, fat English bloke turned up with a disheveled look, barely covered beer-gut and a bashed in face that I recognized from our last visit as that of the delivery man. I turn to him in mild-desperation to salvage this expedition with an iota of good-will.
“Excuse me mate, can I borrow you for a minute. Can you tell this bloke that I want to take a picture of the shop for a mate who loves it but hasn’t driven up with me today?”
Fat-Bloke: (to F.W.) “Let him take a picture Hamed, can’t hurt.”
Me: “And it’s good marketing.”
Whore: “Wanna chip hansum?”
Me:”No thanks, but thanks.”
F.W.:”No picture, no picture!”
At this point I have had quite enough of the Bodrum experience.
“Okay, I’m off and I’m taking a picture. Thanks.”
And I went outside and took it. Wizened-whore left with me but I soon made it clear I wasn’t going to ‘partake’ so she stumbled off. In pic you can see D.Dwarf on left and Fuck-witted in middle with big fat delivery bloke.
Then I went to hotel bar, had a pint and crashed.