20 Sep 2004

Right, well Brucie has been busy. I have done very little over the summer months, as is only right and proper, and as the evenings draw in and late evening beach fires and other such malarkey become a hazy glowing memory, I find myself stirring into action. With everything in this world being relative, one way or another, it can be pointed out that my 'action' could quite well be another man’s twenty year coma but, as I said, everything is relative so my efforts are still to be appreciated.

I have found a bungalow which is a 55 second amble from the Atlantic. This bungalow has a jacuzzi, sauna and pool table. This bungalow is the bomb and very nicely priced. Bruce shall be sharing this domicile with Jack the Dentist and Willem the Woodsman both of whom are immersed in long-term relationships with two lovely ladies. It was this state of affairs that almost caused the first in-house argument before we’d even moved into the house as everybody wanted a double bed. I had viewed the property and had discovered that there were only two double beds as the other two bedrooms had only singles. Jack and Will proposed that as they both had girlfriends and I was a philandering hound dog, their need for an enlarged bedding area was superior to mine. I was stymied for a moment as this chain of logic seemed impenetrable. However I quickly devised the argument that as I did not have a long-term honey my need for the means with which to obtain one were superior to theirs. Somehow, however, they were unable to accept this. We then put our heads together as to how we could settle this issue.

Poker, pool, paper-scissor-stone were all considered. Then the idea of a test of stamina was batted about; who could stay in the sauna the longest got first choice. As we were discussing this in the pub somehow I managed to come up with the truly superb idea of pouring vodka over the hot stones rather than tame ol’H20. We settled on this despite worries that emerged later about possible flammability issues. I have no idea if neat but cheap vodka would ignite on contact with red-hot elements. Anyway, it was all for nought as I had, somehow, managed to overlook the third double bed. Personally I am quite disappointed that our potentially lethal vodka-sweat-session probably shall not happen.

I have done other stuff as well but as I sit here this evening I find myself consumed by pure, raw apathy and I cannot be arsed to continue with this blog.

If you have more tales like that in stock, I implore you not to put the blog on hold.

I'm really sorry you didn't get a chance to try out that experiment. I'd love to read more of what possible outcomes it would bring about. Then again, for all I know you might not be around to do so.

Seeing as that is a very hypothetic problem, I hope you'll keep the good work up.
Thank you for your comment Jarle. It is the first comment on this blog that wasn't written by me. I am overcome!

As to the whole vodka/sauna question there are no plans afoot to clarify the matter. As of yet we have failed to secure the necessary research funding to enable the project to go ahead. However, I imagine that during the up and coming months vodka might well find its way onto the coals, probably one Saturday night when Bruce needs help to convince some young damsel that the only true way to experience a sauna is sans clothes.
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