Skip to main content
Listen up you maggot fuckers! I came here to clean house and by motherfucking Jimminy that is what I will do! In case you were wondering, ladies, my accent is from the deep south of Texas. You got that, you ass sniffers, I am a Texan and accordingly, as is my god given fuck you all right, I am a one tough old mean sonuvabitch! Can I get a hell yeah?!

Oh, most certainly my dear chap. Hello there and how the devil are you?

No, you pig nipple fuck bucket! I said, can I get a Hell Yeah!?

Oh, I do apologise most profusely. I think it is you deep and thick southern drawl, which incidentally reminds me of the noise a heifer makes when overly constipated, that threw me rather alarmingly off track. So sorry, old bean.

What did you say, you puddle of rat spunk?! Are you making to irritate me some, boy? I would not recommend that as a very motherfucking wise plan of action. You got that!

My gosh! Why certainly, my little red-neck periwinkle blossom. I am reading you quite clearly. Mint tulip anyone?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The passage of each day is bringing me closer to forming a terrorist group of my own. When I was but a wee young stripling of a lad I remember continually arguing with my parents after one occasion when I made the fatal mistake of being honest with them. I had just smoked my first few spliffs down the bottom of the garden and foolishly, and perhaps because I was freshly stoned, I presumed that Mum and Dad would understand my curiosity and would leave me to it. I mean, the authors I was so enamoured with at that time were all prescribing healthy doses of all sorts of pharmaceuticals; Huxley liked his mescaline, Kesey his LSD-25 and Burroughs his smack, to name but a few; and I thought that the rents would take my mild investigations into these matters with a nurturing pat on the back. This was not the case. Hence followed two years of them shouting at me that I needed counselling and me replying in shrieks that it was them who needed help to deal with the reality that,"everyb...
17 comments
Read more
Supavision coast to coast Bruce speaking how can I help? Yesh, hello. Hi there. Yesh. I am looking for some movies. Right. Good thing you called a video shop then. What movies? Yesh. I am looking for foreign movies. Ah, right, well we don’t have many of those. There isn’t the demand to justify buying that many. Yesh. Yes. Perhaps if you tell me a title you have in mind I can tell you if I have it or not? Yesh. Yep. Fire away then, when you’re ready. Yesh. Do you have some under the counter for me? O right. I see. When you say foreign films what you really mean is porn, right? Yesh. Right. Okay, well, it’s the same situation as with the foreign films. We don’t have many pornographic.. Yesh. …films either as most people get theirs from the internet. Yesh? Yeah, coz then you can get films which aren’t censored by the BBFC, you know. Yesh. So…. Yesh. So, in conclusion, I don’t really have any porn. Yesh. Will you make som...
16 comments
Read more
Just a quickie. Having another tattoo, this one on my inner lower lip, so once again it is only visible if I allow it etc. But, and this has been bugging me for about a week, what word/words to have? Eh?! Only enough room for one or maybe two words. So far all I have is "BOLLOCKS", "This Hurt" and "Fear & Loathing." The first because that is probably my most frequently uttered word, the second was from a friend but I doubt it shall see the dim glowing light of a day within my mouth as apparently lip tats don't actually hurt much and the last, if you have to ask, you don't know. Any suggestions you lacklustre commenting muthafuckers?!
7 comments
Read more