Apathy UK

There is not much left. We have to act now or it will be too late to save anything. I know. Where’s the captain? He’s in the galley but he’s not alive. What!? He got a frying pan to the head. It’s not pretty. Shit. It’s just you and me then, man. Who’s in charge? What rank are you? We’re both lieutenants aren’t we? I got promoted last month. O yeah. Congratulations. Thanks. Fuck. I’m in charge. Shit. Okay, that’s fine. I knew this mission would be good for my career. Yeah right. Donna’s parents will be cool about the two of you getting hitched when they know you have power. Donna. Shit. We have to sort this out. I know. We’re about to go critical. No, you don’t understand. Before we shipped out Donna told me she was pregnant. Yeah? Congratulations, man! No, well, yes. Thanks. It is groovy. The only problem is that if she has a child outside of wedlock then the Family will take her. Shit. I didn’t think. Neither did I. She needs to get hit...

**CRASH** That was fun. Ugggh. Your irony is not appreciated. Owww. Look at you! I really hope I don’t look like you. Bleed much? No. I ain’t got time to bleed. Wait, what’s that from? Don’t tell me, I know. Wait, wait, I know it. Wait. Shit, there’s more of them. Hold on! Bastards! **CRASH** **CRASH** Stabilisers fucked. Life support wobbly. Thrusters coughing. Nearest planet? That big black one over there, I reckon. I can’t be sure because my wingmirrors are smashed. Looks cozy. Can you land there? I know I’m pretty shit at flying these things but to think that I could miss an entire planet….fuck. Yeah, I can probably hit it. Make it so. Wait, wait, I know that one as well. It’s right on the tip of my tongue. Fly, dammit, fly! O yeah, right. I got it Capitan. Should it be so warm in here? And why’s that flashing? Pants. Stabilisers fucked. Life support wobbly. Thrusters coughing. Radiation leaking. Bejesus Christ! Get a grip o...